It will take a while for the humanity to fathom what it is they are lucky to be dealing with. And whether this is ‘luck’ at all.
Dave Iv-Tey-Vo,
The meeting of UN Monolith Committee,
May 30, 2022

Order #1337
Top secret
A special unit of cyber troops shall be assigned to fulfill proactive security tasks for the Monolith artifact within the framework of the PHD project. The unit shall be directly subordinated to Commander in Chief and, by all available means, endeavor to stop or decelerate significantly further development of the PHD Monoliths specified in Schedule 1 hereof. The Order allows using all the available means including those violating the Khabarovsk UN convention "On Prohibition of Cyber Weapon."
For the time of the operation the unit commanding officer will be awarded a special rank of the Captain of the Army Signal Corps.
FSB archives
Record #103308-45.
Barton (Ping-Pong Pwner) Hillis Cyberman,
Group 1337, the "Monolith" project, United States of South and North Americas (USSNA). Personal file (abstracts from conversations with staff psychologist).
There is really nothing to say; everything is in the file. I was nabbed for cyber terrorism, usually up to 25 years in prison. But I was sentenced to 10... And now this. How was I supposed to know that those slant-eyed were going to use my warm against the Libyan tankers? It was an official contract for a decent paycheck. A distributed control system for some installation or something. Sounds quite OK to me.
What? I did suspect it, of course. The locals almost never ask anything more serious than a new Digit or a Theme for iHelio. Everything worthwhile comes from over there. But does it matter who pays for the code? It's not a bank robbery anyways... I'm paying back an education loan, my PhD is next year.
What do you mean, what for? I told you I need money. Oh, what do they need it for? How do I know? Maybe, just checking us out, or whatever.

Legal? Patriotism? Legal, illegal, decent, indecent... You know what... I'm 20. I've got into a five hundred grand debt. I've got no damn job. Half of my course mates begged for college positions, wanted to teach. You're nuts if you think they gave them the way!
How many times do I have to repeat it! I'm not an terrorist! I'm not, I'm not! They set me up, you understand?! An undercover operation, or whatever you, military guys, call it. While the tankers were circling in Yin Tan signs in the ocean for a week, they started their Monolith in the generation mode, collapsed the energy prices, and danced their Thai Chi for the following year. The world is freaked out, and I’m the scapegoat? Know what? Go to your government dumb-bells and blow their minds, not mine, OK? Or to your eggheads who wasted a year guessing how to generate electricity with the Monolith!

Yeah, I’m cool now. I know, I know, it’s your job. Catharsis, damn it...

Here? Here is ok. Better than in jail, anyways. The hardware is cool, the guys are sane. We even get paid. I have a ping-pong company. Anisimis came visit us with a lecture yesterday. It’s all great, no doubts, but, imho, he’s a bit of a freak. “The Monolith must be destroyed!” A damned Herostratus! Who? Cato? Have not heard of him. Someone ancient as hell anyways…. Sure, I like the job. Everything is so cool, no restrictions. Like, the day after tomorrow удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено. So the yellow kewpies will have quite a fussy month shutting the backdoors, ha! If only their brains get at how we have screwed them. It’s gonna be fun!
Yeah, I’d better be going. The Monolith is being funny. The general call is in 15 minutes. Sorry for being such a jackass…It’s just…it’s been tough. I gotta go now...
Can I get some more coffee?
FSB archives
Record #103308-48.
Shu Qingchun,
Senior Colonel, PLA, the Stellar Granary project, PRC. An abstract from a personal diary.
The star of luck has been shedding its light down on us. For over a year the great people of China has been erecting a prosperous state without looking back at Laowai. The feat of our scientists and engineers who have solved the riddle of the Monolith has provided our nation with what it has needed – energy. Not only China, the whole world has given a sigh of relief, having thrown the slipknot of the Oil Century off its neck. Whatever the Rights say, it is an unquestionable weal that all the Monoliths are generating energy now. If China had kept the knowledge secret, it might have entailed a disaster. The temptation is too irresistible. The wounds of defeat are yet too green.
But the phantom of the Empire has faded away like a miraculous fog puffed away by a morning wind, so now we can dedicate everything we have to build up our wonderful country. Finally, we can give the people of Chine what they have deserved after all the arduous work, often beyond their strength.
How beautiful the cities of China have become now, when they have divested themselves of the blinding veil of gas from coal industries and cars, the gas that had been insulting our smell for so long. How magnificent the endless fields of the North West have become now, when they are in bloom, being irrigated with desalted sea water. What a pleasure it brings to your heart to be sitting on the bank of the Heilungkiang and meditating at the splendorous view of Nikolaevsk in bloom. What a bliss it is to understand that there is no need to be ready for an attack order, to let your skin feel the world harmony accrue from the union of the two great worlds. There are no doubts that the Monolith is a priceless gift, whatever they say, these young men brainwashed by Anisimis. The Monolith is a gift, but do we deserve it? Aren’t we behaving like foolish children who have found a genius masterpiece and used it for their games? Who knows, who knows...

Now to business. The yesterday’s meteor rain has caused few troubles, if any. We managed to extinguish the excessive charge and accumulate a part of it. No interruptions in the connection between the Monoliths have occurred. Captain Li’s group should be rewarded for teamwork. During the incident, the group удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено. Needless to say, this helped us prevent a significant damage.
Recently, international intelligence services have woken up. The probability of the attack is 100%. They will attack one of these days. Well, we will find how to response to the attack. Tomorrow we shall perform a complete readiness test of the Mirror operation.
FSB archives
Record #103328-11.
Lection for group #1337, the Monolith project, USSNA.
From the archive of the GRU, Russia.
The stream of photons generated by the Monoliths is easily converted into an arbitrary kind of energy by means of the PHD transformer (Photon Heterogeneous Decomposer), which works on the principle of Anisimis-Zoidberg. However, the power supplied to the cities and factories is being unstable. The electricity load depends on the time of day, temperature, the Moon phase, broadcasting of the Olympic Games 2020 Opening Ceremony in Magadan and other less predictable factors. To draw off and accumulate the excess of energy and compensate the consumption peaks, a Hydro accumulating Electro Station (HAES) is used.

The PHD SCADA production system by the PHD company (Progressive Hydroenergetic Devices), under the Light Stream trademark, controls the PHD transformer, the energy draw-off of the Monolith, and the HAES operation mode. Actually, it provides vital energy for the whole country. The system gets use of the cutting-edge technologies including Unique Cloud Technologies® protected with 145 international patents.
Taking into consideration that the country has almost abandoned any other energy sources, except for the Monolith, even a minor failure of the PHD SCADA operation may have a disastrous impact. If the surplus of energy is not drawn off to HAES, the light bulbs and the Coca-Cola vending machine can burn out in the White House. If the energy consumption peak is not promptly compensated with the HAES energy, the rotating blackout will frustrate the broadcasting of both the Olympic Games 2020 Opening Ceremony in Magadan and the 731 season of Pavlov, PhD series. The specialists of the Disaster Prediction Center predict that the culmination of the scenario will be mass disturbances and a probable destabilization of the situation in This Country.
Your mission is to make all efforts to ensure HD SCADA security. Any minor breakdown of its operation may have fatal consequences. Unfortunately, the SCADA system cannot be disconnected from the Internet because, according to the contractor (the Light Stream company), the system largely relies on Unique Cloud Technologies® and Green Technologies™. If the connection with the Company’s servers is interrupted, the system operation will fail and get out of service.

Schedule 0A0D to Directive 30-X of Order #1337 (the Malevil operation, top secret) specifies that, according to the information gained by the intelligence service, all the opponent states use the PHD SCADA system, because the Light Stream company has an exclusive license for the principles of Anisimis-Zoidberg (also co-founders of the Company) and the know-how required to produce the PHD transformers. In this connection, the PHD SCADA system is one of the major priorities among those specified in the Order #1337.




FSB archives
Record #103404-09.
From the records of the Hacker Free Lands media project, IBB (International Bureau of Broadcasting).
=== nevermind [root@nrbg-4db4439c.nlb.eu.msft.net] has joined #phd-bizz
nevermind: hey, guys, have a subj!
_s4: ?
=== h0d [h0d@net3738292.broadband.hugetelco.jp] has joined #phd-bizz
nevermind: hey, guys, have a subj!
h0d: What “subj”?
nevermind: an exploit. SQLi for CMS 777
nevermind: SUPER MEGA PRIVATE 0-day
nevermind: mine
nevermind: it’s everywhere
nevermind: mean CMS is everywhere
nevermind: 95% pwnage
IV: yeah, it’s a catching stuff.
h0d:_s4: Check it.
nevermind: check 4? it worx c00l
h0d: Let him check.
h0d: You’ve already had 0-days. Passed their best long ago.
nevermind: u r mean!
nevermind: catch it.
nevermind: http://nrbg-4db4439c.nlb.eu.msft.net/fhjdkjdksdsasks/0day.rar
=== Ja [OPTER@gateway/tor/x-bd341a0245ffdd8d] has joined #phd-bizz
_s4: it’s subj
_s4: but in defaults - / page deface only
_s4: others – by hand... quite tough...
h0d: _s4: How about further researches? To develop the attack? Get shell?
_s4: no dice. well... who knows...
h0d: Ok. I’ll see.
nevermind: no, it works if there are lame chmod and sequel libs with file fucktions
nevermind: file functions
_s4: yeah, right. if pigs have wings... u seen such idiots?
nevermind: it happens!
nevermind: pwned a top 500 site lately
nevermind: captured LOADS of traffic, the dor is still in SERPs
h0d: The sponsor gave the go. Your task is “to pwn everything and make Great Cry all-all around.”
h0d: Ja: Get a pic for the deface, please.

h0d:
IV: You contact the media, I’ll send the text sample in about two hours.
h0d: nevermind: you hack, _s4 controls. I’ll send a list of the rest goals.
h0d: The Point of Great Cry is the day after tomorrow, 6:00 GMT.
h0d: Everybody agreed?
_s4: ok
Ja: Ja
IV: okey-dokey
nevermind: bucks?
h0d: Decent as usual.
nevermind: sploit is MINE!
h0d: If you do it OK, you’ll get +1. To your karma and to your account.
h0d: Let’s go now.
nevermind: ok
h0d: Meeting in 12 hours.
FSB archives
Record #103474-123.
The Complete History of The Monolith, 3rd edition, enlarged
under the editorship of Dr. Zoidberg, pp. 4378–4379.
Published in the Skolkovo Research magazine, the research work On Some Aspects of Gluon Duplication by Pavlov, PhD and Sergo Gordy has truly concussed the scientific community. The work proves that the structure of the Monolith is a sort of a cube with 1337 faces, while the projections observed by the people of Earth are just segments of one of the planes of the Cyclopean construction. Moreover, linear sizes of a single face can range from n to m, where n equals 7,441 kiloparsecs, which is commensurate to the sizes of the Milky Way Galaxy.
One of the practical values of the work consists in the possibility to transmit energy from one part of the Universe to another. This possibility results from the fact that in a Q-dimensional space one can always select a q-dimensional projection where a starting point and a destination point of a 4-dimensional space are coincide in the same point of the space – at Q’. Thus, by swapping the places of an object on one of the faces of the q-dimensional projection, it is possible to transmit the energy at enormous distances that are many times larger than the observable Universe. So, the obvious E = mC2 opens unconceivable horizons. This hypothesis was used as a basis to construct a device named a PHD duplicator (Pavlov-Higgs Duplicator). The device allowed relocating Higgs bosons at distances of 10 e-707 meters. Unfortunately, these results border the accuracy level of modern measuring instruments, so, a number of researchers are inclined to attribute these figures to measurement error.

The authors are highly critical of such an opinion. They suggest that various countries should unite their efforts to conduct experiments on at least 10 mutually distant Monoliths, which would significantly increase the accuracy of the measurements. Regrettably, the general public did not have a chance to learn about these ideas. There have been only two relative publications in the generally accessible resources. The first one was a sarcastic pamphlet titled Like Boson for the Monolith by Anisimis published in the leaflet Innovations or Death. The second article appeared in a namesake column Russians Want Our Monolith! of The Moon tabloid.

So, the ideas sank into oblivion, while the PHD duplicator was abandoned to dust in the backyards of the laboratory of the Monolith project, blinking with their network connection indicator every now and then.
FSB archives
Record #103474-123.
Vladimir Tigrov, Captain of Signal Corps, the Z-8 project, the Russian Federation.
Abstracts from private correspondence.
Hi, love! I can feel with all my heart that we will meet soon. Something tells me that this story is rushing to its head like a shot. The end will be astonishing, yet predictable and sad. No gifts are given for free. The Devil never pays, but gives to the credit. The credit of 100-per cent interest. The interest of everything you have. For gifts from God, we pay with our blood, our sweat and our tears. For those given by the Devil, with blood, sweat and tears of someone else. What have we paid for the weal of the Monolith? Nothing so far. So, the payoff is yet to come. I read an article about the Monolith’s power intensity written by Dr. Pavlov in Skolkovo Research the other day. According to his estimations, the Monoliths’ capacity is highly limited, so the attempts to continuously increase the useable capacity are doomed to failure.
Moreover, a sudden surge of the useable energy will unavoidably destabilize the Monolith. The possible outcome is still unknown. It might be something more or less trifle, like disappearance of the Monoliths from our 4-dimensional continuum. Or something extremely serious, like a collapse that would turn the Solar System into a pigskin-sized black hole. There are some alarming signals in the intelligence service data concerning this matter.
Looks like our oversea friends удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено удалено.

Some time ago Tsin Chun compared us to foolish children in one of his diary entries. Good wording, yet too optimistic. I’m afraid that a monkey-with-a-grenade simile is much more precise.
This is how the things are. Perhaps, we’ll meet even sooner than the letter reaches you. Kiss the children for me. Last week I sent a model of the Monolith to Misha. I hope, you received it and he has something to boast in the kindergarten. Kisses. See you soon.
FSB archives
Record #103744-02.
Professor Anisimis
An abstract from a reference letter prepared by the analytical group of the Fifth Central Department of Counter-Terrorism in the Internet (FCDCTI) of the Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation
Shitheelov Anuby Bruteforcovich, nee Svetlyachkov. Birth year 1980. He took his wife’s last name after their wedding in 2008 on the grounds of the unpleasant sounding of his own one. Before the summer of 2010 he used to work as a laboratory assistant of the PT department in a veterinary clinic for problem animals named after A. A. Przhevalsky, Moscow, Russia. Under the pseudonym of Laborant became quite famous in the circles of the occult computer underground, where he actively promoted the idea of peaceful subversion of a totalitarian power of the computer intelligence (a tentative diagnosis – syndrome of obsessional paranoia – was made in Anuby’s absence by V.V. Oktyabrinskim MD in November, 2017).
In fall 2019, as a response to the notorious events revolving around the PHD Monolith, Anuby published a book (sponsors are being clarified) titled To Hell with the Monolith! under the name of Anisimis, which became his anonym for the general public. His fame should be attributed to the incredible success of the book, which was rapidly translated into all major languages and sold out in millions of copies.
Anuby is a path-breaker of the Anisimis-Zoidber principle and a co-owner of the Light Stream company. However, he is best known as a propagandist, an essay writer, and a lecturer. His private fortune is estimated to be about several dozens of billions. His present location is being identified. In his regular YouTubic videos, Anisimis argues that lately he has been living in the Internet. He is an ardent partisan and propagandist of the idea that the Monolith should be used only for the purposes of generation of maximum amount of the energy. He urges the world to abandon the attempts to understand the phenomenon. He is a consistent opponent of the ideas and research work of Pavlov, PhD whose aim is to unite the international attempts to study the Monoliths.
According to some (unproven) resources, Anisimis is the author of a phrase frequently cited by the far-rights: “The Monolith must be destroyed”.
FSB archives
Record #104031-82.

 
The RichTwitts Channel informs that the Pavlov, PhD series will be cancelled. The reason is outrageous. Dr. Pavlov, a series media template, has dared to conduct an incredible experiment: the scientist has drowned himself in a 1,000-year lasting anabiosis in an apparatus of its own construction.
This information cannot be confirmed since Dr. Pavlov has recently secluded himself in the Moon department of Skolkovo and stopped any communication with the media.
According to the latest information, leaders of some states have already declared the day of the Pavlov, PhD finale air a national day-off.